Why is it important to have a support system?
Interacting with a loved one who displays psychological health concerns can always be tricky. As a part of their support system, the most important thing for you to do is to treat your loved one with respect and empathy. Most people who suffer from depression, anxiety, or any other mental health concern often report feelings of loneliness or isolation. Therefore, your presence, coupled with your ability to be empathetic and nonjudgmental, can play an essential role in helping them cope better and recover faster.
A strong support system can provide emotional comfort, practical assistance, and reassurance during difficult times. It can help individuals battling mental health challenges feel more connected, understood, and valued. Research shows that people with a robust mental health support network are more likely to recover faster and manage stress effectively. They are also less likely to experience severe episodes of depression or anxiety. It is important for us to understand the benefits of a support system and work towards creating our own support system.
Anticipate their reaction
Before speaking with them, it might help you to anticipate their reactions so that you can remain calm and collected. Always keep in mind that they might be dealing with a lot of pain and anger and may break down because they are in an emotionally vulnerable position. Alternatively, they may seem distant and almost unemotional. Both these reactions are common, and in either of these situations, being prepared will help you feel more at ease.
Respect the boundaries that they draw
Note that every individual is different and has varying emotional needs. Some people might like to be held and comforted, while others prefer space. If you are unclear about how to reassure them, ask them what they would prefer; a simple “Is it okay if I hold your hand?” will help you gauge what they need from you. Remember to reinforce the idea that you are there for them and that they can count on you.
Make sure you do not come off as judgmental or condescending
It is very likely that your loved one will get defensive if they feel that the conversation has a confrontational tone to it. Phrases such as “buck up” or “you are better off than most people, be grateful for what you have” do not help. Instead, try starting the conversation with compassion and curiosity. Allow them to talk as much as they want without being interrupted. Keep in mind that, sometimes, the most significant aid comes in the form of being attentive and empathetic.
Empathy vs. Sympathy
“Empathy can be defined as a person’s ability to recognize and share the emotions of another person, being, or fictional character” (Carl Rogers, Brene Brown). While it is tempting to confuse empathy with sympathy (the feeling of compassion, sorrow, or pity for the hardships another person encounters), there is one fundamental difference. Empathy requires you to put yourself in another person’s shoes. This distinction is vital in understanding what your loved one is going through.
Reflective rather than Reactive listening
Rather than focusing on giving advice or reacting to what they say, reflective listening will allow you to understand your loved one’s Point of View (POV). While it may be tempting to point out what went wrong, refrain from doing so, as your friend might not be in a position to listen.
Do not diminish their problems by comparing them to your own
Often, if we feel like we have dealt with similar situations, we tend to draw attention to our own experiences. Inadvertently, this might make your loved one feel as though you are diminishing their problems.
Assure them that help is available
Reiterate that although things seem complicated now, they can and will get better. Let them know that a significant step toward recovery is asking for help. Tell them that it might be a good idea to speak with a mental health practitioner, as a therapist, counselor, or psychiatrist might be better equipped to handle the situation. You can also do a quick search online to look up available resources closest to your friend. Additionally, you may offer to accompany them to a mental health practitioner, as this might boost their morale and help them feel assured.
Be patient
It is also likely that your loved one will act out during this period. Mood swings often accompany mental illnesses. If your friend seems particularly nasty one day, know that it might not necessarily be because of something you did; rather, it could be because they are having a tough time controlling how they feel. Don’t take it personally; remember that your loved one’s illness can affect their behavior and communication skills. At the same time, set up boundaries for yourself because your mental health is just as important as theirs.
Check in on them afterward
While this conversation may have been a breakthrough, it is equally important to check in with them periodically. While it might be challenging to have frequent, lengthy emotional conversations due to work and other commitments, a simple text message asking how they are doing will help them feel cared for, supported, and, most importantly, not alone.
How to create a support system
If you are caring for someone with a mental health condition, having your own support system is just as crucial. Here are some ways on how to build a support system that benefits both you and your loved one:
